Maryoceane

On my way back from Austin with Neil, we listened to bands that reminded me of times in my life that, upon looking back, seem like movies I hadn’t seen in a long time, and nearly forgotten. And yet, when these certain bands come on, or that one song you listened to during that one moment, or that one line that reminds you of your asshole ex boyfriend who broke your heart, everything rushes back. You come back there again, to that time, to that place, with those people that you probably don’t even talk to anymore. People that probably don’t mean anything to you anymore. You care again. These songs and bands and albums, although you would probably be embarrassed to have them in your itunes now, have found their meaning again. You are 13. You are 16. You are 9 years old buying your very first cassette tape.

I figured in honor of the great albums that influenced me growing up, and accidentally became soundtracks to periods in my life, I would write about these albums. For better or for worse.

Hanson - Tulsa Tokyo and the Middle of Nowhere

Oh Zack Hanson, you slay me. Well, you used to. It is debatable whether Hanson, Spice Girls, or Nsync meant more to me during elementary school, but I definitely feel like I worshipped Hanson a lot more. (Although my first concert was Nsync in 6th grade.) Hanson made me feel like a badass when I couldn’t say the word “badass” yet. Or really do much of anything on my own. But still, they played their own instruments, they had long hair, and whatever…THEY WERE BADASS. I first heard Hanson in the car with my way older sister when I was in 4th grade. “Can you believe these are guys singing?” No, I couldn’t. I tried to play it cool, and make fun of them, but sure enough…on my Christmas list that year was their album. And every book about them ever made. Every poster. And of course, their VHS tape (which I got and watched religiously, with my nose 6 inches from my combination TV/VCR.) When I got the cd, I took it into my room, put it in, and listened to it while reading the lyrics. Mission: Play every song on repeat until you know every song by heart. Oddly enough, at the last SXSW, I saw Taylor Hanson’s (terrible) new band Tinted WIndows, which consists of members from Cheap Trick and Smashing Pumpkins. I can’t say I didn’t turn into that same dorky little girl again when I saw him, as terrible as the band was. Buttttt, I won’t say that I did. And plus, his buldge is HUGE. I guess I wasn’t really thinking about that around age 9. He still looks like a girl though. With a buldge.

Blink 182- Enema of the State

I know, I know. Such a poser. “Omg, whatever, I totally liked Blink 182 when they were ‘underground’.” Yeah, well I didn’t. I admit it now, nearly a decade later. Thanks to my still-best friend Courtney (who was way ahead of her time even in elementary school, and way cooler than most kids our age) and the Buzz, I discovered Blink 182. They were perverted, usually completely inappropriate, and talked about masturbating at a time when I was still too nervous to even hold a boy’s hand. This fanship started around the end of 6th grade, but didn’t really get OBSESSIVE until 7th and 8th grade. I thought I was the first one to start listening to Blink 182 at my school and called any girl that started liking them later than I did, a big huge fat poser. Blink 182 turned me into a little brat pretty much. I started wearing shirts that said “Here comes trouble”, “Get over it”, and “Punk Rock Princess.” Whatever, I was cool back then. Anyway, by the time High School rolled around, I had defined my image. I got my backpack ready. It was yellow because I was trying to make a statement. And it was covered in safety pins and patches and band buttons, and song lyrics that I had written on there. I took it outside the day before school and scraped it around on the ground a bit trying to make it seem like I did not just do all of this in one night, and that I had, in fact, been cool for a long time. It’s also important for the next album I’m about to mention, to state that I had the words “I <3 PUNK RAWK” written HUGE on the bottom of the backpack.

Punk - O- Rama Vo. 2

Well, turns out the older cooler, more punk rock girls at Westside High School caught onto my act. On the way out of French class, it happened.

“Oh yeah, you like Punk Rock? What bands do you like?”

“Uh..like, you know, Blink, Sum 41, Saves the Day…”

“That’s not punk rock, dude. That’s like, some lame MTV shit. Blink sold out anyway.”

Then trying to think of any more obscure bands I had heard of on the Blink 182 Uretha Chronicles VHS tape…”I mean, yeah, you know, I like other bands too. Millencolin, NoFx…”

“Oh yeah, what’s your favorite song?”

“Uh…I like all of them, it’s hard to pick.”

Fuck. I got caught. “Fucking poser!!!!”

After this incredibly humbling experience, I went to Best Buy that weekend and bought Punk-O-Rama Vo. 2. I bought it because the cover looked hardcore with pictures of people appearing to kill each other (which I later learned was “moshing”) and they had bands called Rancid. And of course, it had the essential “Parental Advisory Warning” which meant I was a badass, but it also meant I had to get my mom to buy it for me, whichhhhh brought my “badass factor” down to about a  -385.

So, I brought it home, popped it into my kickass stereo I had just gotten for my birthday and….”What the fuck? What is this crap? Who can listen to this?” It didn’t matter. I studied every band and memorized every song so that if those bitches, or any other bitches, ever tried to question my punk rockability, I could reference these songs and they’d never bother me again. If I was going to be a poser, I needed to be a knowledgeable one. Yes, I hated it, but yes I also bought Pennywise and Black Flag patches and put up the \m/ and bobbed my head up and down to songs that I couldn’t even really find the melody in. I even joined the school’s Hardcore Punk Rock Club where we talked about anti-conformity (we preached as we all wore the same Chucks, plaid pants and studded bracelets) and read stories of punks that got killed my jocks just because they were “different”. Anyway, it may seem like I’m still bitter towards those girls, but last I heard one of them was stripper and the other became a meth head. I GUESS IT DOESN’T WORK OUT IN THE LONG RUN TO BE A “TRUE” PUNK ROCKER, HUH? Yeah, that’s right. Suck on that one.

To be continued…