Maryoceane

(It seems Lil and I have the same brain because when we called each other this morning, I told her I wrote this blog and she had written one about the exact same topic. I guess that’s what happens when you share an apartment together for a year.)

I feel like I’ve been having to be a winglady a lot lately. I suppose being the only girl in your group of friends with a boyfriend entitles me to this role.

Being a winglady can sometimes be awkward or lonely but if you try to look at it positively, you can actually just feel good that you helped your homegirl get some. You’d want her to do that for you.

Here are the do’s and don’ts of being a winglady:

DO’S:

-       Always pull out the boyfriend card when you feel like your lady’s love interest might be flirting.

-       You must always be by a girl’s side, but know when it’s time to give them alone time when you feel things are comfortable enough.

-       If your friend is too shy to approach the guy she’s interested in, find a way to butt into the conversation he’s having with his friends, introduce yourself, and then introduce your friend. Usually you should say something about her like “She just moved here from…” “She works at…” “She’s a very talented…” This, hopefully, (unless the guy is an idiot) will cause the guy the ask your friend questions and start a conversation between them.

-       Be the funny one, NOT the hot one. Ie: Tell funny/embarrassing anecdotes about yourself to make yourself slightly less charming.

-       If the guy starts acting like a perv towards you, makes advances towards you, or starts showing player-like qualities…let your girl know.

-       Downplay yourself and talk about how fat, awkward, or geeky you may have been as a child.

DON’T:

-       You never want to exude more sex appeal than your friends.

-       And  definitely, definitely, never find yourself alone in a room with any guy.

-       DO NOT FLIRT WITH THE GUY. This should be self-explanatory but some girls don’t really understand how shitty that is. Cockblocking is not cool.

-       Do not ever humiliate or belittle your girl. However, approved cute/funny stories are okay. Be an icebreaker.

-       Don’t drink too much because drinking too much might make you forget some of these guidelines.

-       Don’t make an ass out of yourself. Someone’s friends are a reflection of who they are, so if you’re an ass…it might make your friend look like one too.

Boyfriend, come home.